Note to readers: This post is for my friends and colleagues abroad, a followup to my report following the November 2024 presidential election. It is written as an Invective, utilizing harshly critical language and highly appropriate insults. The maga cult and its followers are not to be reasoned with, only exposed and opposed. – D
...
Today America celebrates the Fourth of July, formerly known as Independence Day and currently referred as In Depends Day, in deference to the man in the golden diaper, and as an accurate description of the country's overall condition.
It was just last November when Americans collectively shat the democracy bed. We the People put the Orange Jesus, maga's cult leader, in control of the entire United States government. The whole thing – Legislative branch, Executive office, and the Supreme Court. He wields his power like a petulant, top-heavy child throwing tantrums in the vegetable garden, stomping on everything out of spite.
But Vladdy's Boy is not the maga cult's puppet master. That power he ceded to a Jewish white supremacist named Stephen Miller, whose family immigrated from Germany to the U.S. a few years before the Nazis rose to power.
Miller manages the propaganda that keeps the magas pinballing between paranoia and outrage. He mixes and serves the effluent of lies, slurs, tirades, false bravado, and fast talking self-righteous bombast that magas are hooked on. Russian, Chinese, Iranian, North Korean, and Israeli disinformation botnets and social media influencers are allies – not enemies, allies – in Miller's national campaign to bamboozle America with bullshit.
Stephen Miller the man is a genuinely miserable person, in need of hugs from his doppleganger Peewee Herman. The more Miller rage-baits the magas with conspiracies about white people oppression, the more he is mocked by the Internet, and the more his eyes turn into raw hate lasers. So the pipsqueak brainiac vows revenge, threatens to jail and exterminate minorities, successful black women, and other "enemies within." In Miller's defense, if you had to spend every day with your head up the infinite ass of the Constipated Corleone, trying to make him sound coherent on camera, you would also be severely unhappy.
...
Here is the main thing to know right now. The Sweet Potato Overlord's regime has no intention of governing. The grift is the governing. These are the three pillars of the grift:
- Abuse power and break laws with impunity
- Self-enrichment
- Self-aggrandizement
True, he did swear twice, on a right-side-up bible, to "support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic." Problem is, actually upholding the oath of office would lead to the Big Sedition's own arrest and imprisonment for conspiring to steal the 2020 election he lost, for starting an insurrection to prevent the peaceful transfer of power because he wouldn't admit he lost, and for hoarding boxes of classified state secrets at his Florida home after he lost.
You can see why Baby Shitler so much admires the governing style of Russian oligarchs and Saudi monarchs, beyond the reach of laws and prosecutions and convictions and prison time.
...
This time around the maga grift is in the open, an open fuck you to principles and rules, reasoned discourse, and the Constitution.
Appointments to federal agency chairs and cabinet posts were filled, without exception, by obedient loyalists and committed ass-kissers. Qualified candidates needed to demonstrate zero or fewer qualifications, have at least one severe personality disorder, and be willing to be humiliated for life and risk imprisonment by continuously lying for the mentally ill rage-tweeting mean girl with sundowners syndrome. Smarmy Christian phoniness was a big plus. This is how we've ended up with these fleabags and bottom feeders playing to an audience of one:
- Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard. Leads the agency charged with gathering actionable intelligence on nation state adversaries. Applauds authoritarian dictators. Advocates for Russia to successfully invade and occupy Ukraine. When Gabbard repeats Russian disinformation and conspiracies on maga state TV, Putin smiles. He vigorously applauds her decision to cut her intelligence staff by 40 percent.
- Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick. Formerly, the commerce secretary's role was to promote economic growth and encourage domestic and foreign trade. Under Lutnick, the role is to reshape America's economy around cryptocurency markets and punish foreign countries by imposing tariff taxes increasing the cost Americans pay for goods. Would like to end the Social Security program that keeps America's old people alive. The billionaire class doesn't need social security, so why should they have to pay for it.
- Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) Kash Patel. Patel is the Pumpkin Spice Palpatine's most laser-focused boot-licker. Like a doomed character, he desperately craves acceptance he'll never get due to his un-maga wrong skin. The FBI's mission was formerly "to protect the American people and uphold the US Constitution." Under Patel, the FBI's mission is to investigate and prosecute the emperor's enemies, the long list of anti-fascists who have ridiculed, mocked, and laughed at him, and defeated him in court because he is a loser, just like his followers
- Attorney General Pam Bondi. Formerly, the county's Attorney General represented the United States in legal matters. Today, the office represents the Melon Felon exclusively, mostly against the mounting evidence of his involvement with Jeffrey Epstein, his Florida neighbor and notorious provisioner of underage girls to wealthy gentlemen, dignitaries, and lords across the globe,.
- Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) Robert F Kennedy Jr. Formerly, HHS was charged with protecting the health of all Americans and providing essential human services. Today, HHS is charged with empowering anti-vaccine advocates and supporting unproven treatments. And also with hindering and obstructing the development of new vaccines that would prevent untold magas from taking a dirt nap when the next pandemic arrives.
- Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth. It's extremely embarrassing to admit that the nation's combined armed forces – the US Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force. and Coast Guard – are under the operational and administrative control of the most insecure douchebag and spectacularly unqualified person on earth, who is also a macho Christian poser performance artist loathed by every general he commands. Sorry, world.
- Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, Formerly, the mission of this office was to protect the United States from terrorism, natural disasters, and other hazards. Today the office serves as a media platform for a cosplay queen with egregious face filler and a sadistic persona that appeals to maga's worst instincts. Currently looking for ways to direct emergency preparedness, disaster relief, and rebuilding funds to red states only, while advocating for arbitrary mass deportations and detentions for blue states.
- Office of Management and Budget (OMB) Director Russ Vought. Formerly, this office oversaw the preparation and administration of the federal budget, setting funding priorities and evaluating agency programs. Under Vought, the OMB is a mechanism for weaponizing government against dear leader's political enemies while slashing trillions of dollars from Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security. Vought authored the Project 2025 playbook, and is masterminding the privatization of the federal government by a technobroligarchy that kisses the potentate's ring for now but realizes he'll be dead soon. You know, those white men named Mark, Elon, Peter, Tim, Jeff, et al.
With all the useful idiots in place in government, puppet master Miller is free to execute the fascist playbook, following the example set by Heinrich Himmler and Josef Goebbels during the Third Reich: Abuse power. Blame the Others. Play victim to all criticism. Blame the Others. Identify scapegoats for crimes you commit. Blame the Others. Jail your enemies. Blame the Others. Manufacture chaos and unrest. Blame the Others. Declare marshal law in cities in blue states where you are most hated. Blame the Others. Disappear opponents mysteriously. Blame the Others. Cancel elections. If anyone notices the power grab, blame the Others.
...
Observing this self-sabotage, an outside observer might think, Egad! What benefits these magas from belonging to such a daft cult? Who are these brainwashed cretins? How does this confederacy of dunces survive?
Think of maga as two cults in one. The first cult is the Fake Ass Patriots, aka the FAPs. The other cult is the Phony Ass Christians, aka the PACs. Both cults have a Jesus to worship.
The fusing and bonding of FAP and PAC began long ago, back in the 80s and 90s, with Republican House Leader Newt Gingrich and televangelist Jerry Falwell. Gingrich was vicious and smart. He realized that politics of division, not compromise, were the key to Republicans seizing power permanently. He recognized that Republicans could stay elected by joining with the Evangelicals to demonize secular society – aka mulitculturalism – aka different people getting along together – as fundamentally filthy, immoral, and ungodly.
He and Falwell were the OGs of the Moral Majority who claimed the moral high ground that white maga Christians believe they hold over everyone else today. They laid the foundation for a political movement that would gladly trade American democracy for white Christian nationalist theocracy in order to remain in power.
...
These are the characteristics of a fake-ass patriot:
- they are cult members
- pissed off about Barrack Obama being elected president twice and avoiding assassination both times
- bitter about the defeat of the white Southern Confederacy in the Civil War that ended 150 years ago
- resent texbooks that make slave owners look bad because in a lot of ways black people were actually happier back then
- are sure that most black or brown persons with actual jobs are DEI hires getting health benefits illegally
- haven't read the Constitution or its amendments, including the second amendment which they get emotional about defending
- turn to people at the bar and say stupid shit like Can you imagine how fucked up things would be right now if Cumalla Harris was president?
- don't care that the Fartful Dodger evaded the draft for the Vietnam war five times with deferments for bone spurs and don't care that five other people had to serve in Vietnam because dear leader was and is an entitled coward
- like to stir up xenophobia in other FAPs, blaming minorities for stuff that white people are guilty of, like pedophilia and violent crime to name two
The FAPs are clinically insecure, paranoid, aggrieved, and generally butt-mad at the world. Why? Because their poor brain-buckets have been marinating in maga state TV lies and maga social media conspiracies for two decades. This has made them terminally bitter and easily triggered by Russian disinformation to hate on people they don't know anything about. Recycling hate about successful black women validates their victimhood.
The FAPs don't do the kind of history that's researched. They like the opinion kind of history that doesn't require factual evidence by attributed sources, Also, they're afraid that some fact checking in the Google machine might tell them what they know in their souls is true: the cult is always lying.
Due to the ingrown hatred eating their souls and the lack of critical thinking skills eating their brains, the FAPs are now openly anti-democracy, against equal rights provided equally and anything else that infringes on maga's white people entitlements. The FAPs are saying we need a big old civil war to set things right in this country. The PACs have anointed this cretinous idea from the sidelines. Rest assured they won't actually participate.
...
These are the characteristics of a phoney-assed Christian:
- they are cult members
- are OK with male authoritarian leaders as long as they are both white and Christian
- hoping to replace America's secular democracy, also known as Satan, with a Christian nationalist theocracy
- hoping to adopt the Sharia law model used in Iran where the holy men interpret the laws and make the judgements that are enforced by the police and the military
- will revise scientific explanations of evolution with creationist picture books proving humans and dinosaurs co-existed on Earth less than 6,000 years ago
- practice the gospel of Jesus for magas; for others, practice the gospel of meanness equals compassion, cruelty equals kindness, and grifting equals generosity
- are civil war-curious, if not aroused – put it this way, if woke people, gay people, successful black women, and all Democrats are jailed, murdered, or otherwise permanently removed from society in a civil war, that'll mean the Christian white people rapture is about to commence, amen.
For the PACs, holy war against LGBTQ is their main crusade, now that old men in robes have slain women's rights. The magas don't notice irony, so they don't notice all the God-fearing maga leaders who give off strong non-hetero vibes while posing as wholesome family men and macho hetero bros. Democrats don't have this problem. Their gay people don't have to be closeted.
Republican House Speaker and maga's most pious homophobe, Mike Johnson, has clearly not been able to pray his own gay away. To keep up the facade, "Moses" Mike hates on transgenders, advocates for outlawing gay marriage and reinstating anti-sodomy laws, and lectures women about accepting traditional roles, like obeying closeted white men.
...
For maga's the main drawback for leaving the cult is how long they've already been in it, going on ten years now.
The magas who have left report having this nagging realization in their minds: I am being manipulated by people who despise me for being so easily manipulated. This realization closes the door on magical thinking and opens the door to Hannibal Sphincter's sordid criminal history and depraved soul. Deprogrammed magas know that during the Covid pandemic, hundreds of thousands of cult members died in ICUs, alone and isolated from family, because they believed the Fakakta Fabricator's lie that Covid was a hoax created by China and Anthony Fauci. He said it would disappear in six weeks, that masks are for sissies, and that ingesting horse dewormer and bleach is what cures it. He did not care how many inconvenient maga deaths he caused.
It's important to note that the PACs have an escape hatch from the deadly maga cult. The PACs have their own, more pernicious cult to run to. They won't have to renounce or admit anything when Felonious Chump goes to prison and is reviled in history. They see the FAPs as expendable board pieces in the bigger Jesus mission. But the FAPs have one hope, and it is not the Fondling Father. No. There's another way out. Just move to the PAC side of the cult, and repeat fthe magic words exonerating all past, present, and future responsibility – I have accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and saviour, have you?
...
The magas have laid the groundwork for their cult's own demise. Either way it goes, they lose. If their maga cult defeats woke and transgenderism by raising health care premiums, then they lose their health care. If Rapey McStrokeFace ruins the economy with tariffs and successfully blames the Democrats, then they still lose jobs and their farms. And if the opposite occurs, if the maga cult collapses under its own corruption and incompetence, then the cult leader will blame the followers who didn't give their lives to protect him. A lose, lose scenario, and very maga.
It's gonna be OK for maga though. When the maga cult leader brings about the cult's demise or the country's economic demise, perhaps simultaneously, the magas will say they weren't really involved. They'll remove incriminating posts on social media, stash the maga gear out of sight, never admit they voted for the Chicken McTacoTits three times. Deny, distract, disinform, he taught them.
...
To clarify, being maga is not fun. It is extremely time-consuming and soul-sucking to remain so hyper-deluded and butt-mad. The only joy comes from moments of punching down on others. In between you're all lonely and cold inside.
Anyway, here it is In Depends Day 2025 and maga thinks we're on the brink of a civil war, a great reckoning with overtones of rapture. Outside observers might naturally ask, Who exactly will be fighting whom, and where, and how, in this projected civil war? The answer is maga hasn't thought that through yet. As usual, they talk first, think third. Fire, ready, aim – that's maga, that's how they roll and how they faceplant.
Physically and mentally, the maga army preparing to battle the woke horde is unfit to serve, let alone fight. This addle-brained army is mostly atrophy and adipose tissue. Meanwhile, the opposition, the woke mob liberal leftist enemies of the people, are younger, faster, stronger, smarter, and greater in number. They can walk to the mailbox unassisted and see their feet when they look down.
Let's take a look at the maga fighting force:
- Anonymous mercenaries from ICE afraid someone is going to pull their mask down and reveal their identities on social media, and their conviction records
- Cavalry regiments of insecure guys wearing camo gear with AK 47 symbols, driving overly large pickups with overly large tires, bitter that they will never have a woke girlfriend
- Armored divisions of confused old people pushing walkers, breaking rank to wander aimlessly and take naps on the battlefield
- Non-mobile infantry battalions of morbidly obese, cardio-challenged middle-aged white people spending their limited incomes on Ozempic refills
- Tactical operations centers consisting of groyper incels shit-posting like edge lords from mommy's basement
Fortunately for maga, the woke mob enemy has no interest in a winner-takes-all civil war showdown. The civil war trash talk is being ignored, for now. The magas pose a threat to nobody except themselves. A real combat force isn't debilitated by fear of bathrooms, books, words, masks, dishwashers, electric stoves, drag queens, wind turbines, vaccines, pronouns, Obama, NPR, PBS, science, history, fair elections, health care, beer brands, and restaurant signs.
The dim-witted outragd magas chanting the loudest for civil war don't understand that wars need battle lines. In a real war, borders separate the opposing forces. In an imaginary maga war, there are no battlelines to cross. And also no strategy and no tactics. They are too clinically stupid to understand that after attacking their Democrat neighbors next door they'll need to find a safe place to hide. Because in a country with more guns than people, the woke mob can own guns too, and will retaliate while the less stupid magas in the neighborhood are inside with their doors locked.
The civil war talk is perhaps an offer to accept later. Right now, most of the country is just waiting for Felonious Chump to die, hopefully in prison, serving time for his extensive crimes. Judging by his listless puffy corpulent appearance, the Bloated Baghwan may already be dead.
Looking ahead some, while Cankles the Decomposer lies in state, a raucous celebration will rage outside the Capital and around the world, and maga will have another grievance for another civil war they'd lose badly.
...
At the mouth of the Hudson River, where it meets the Atlantic ocean, stands the lady with the lamp, the Statue of Liberty, formerly a welcome site for immigrants sailing into New York Harbor, including my paternal grandfather and his family. "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free," she generously offered.
The American Colossus no longer beckons to immigrant poor people with children looking for a fair chance to survive and pursue the American dream – not unless the family is from Norway or Sweden. In a massive role reversal, she now beckons for ICE to illegally detain legal immigrants and people who oppose fascism on American soil.
It is the day in 1776 that the Declaration of Independence was adopted by the Second Continental Congress in Philadelphia, to overthrow a tyrant king running a remote grift on the American colonies. Today, the dear old Constitutional Republic is groping its way, Epstein-like, towards a similarly rotten kleptocracy. The new American tyrant wears a full diaper and harbors an empty soul. The chances of American Democracy surviving the cult of maga intact seem grim, the chances of restoring our self-respect zero.